CLEVELAND, OH (WOIO) - We feel it is time for an obituary, with apologies to Lori Borgman.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, common sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows how old he was: his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having taught us such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair and maybe it was my fault. Common sense lived by simple, sound reliable strategies like don't spend more than you earn and adults are in charge, not children.
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of an 8-year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, all worsened his condition.
Common sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer an aspirin or sunscreen to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from an intruder in your own home and if you did the intruder could sue you for assault.
Common sense lost the will to live as criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common sense finally passed away when having a differing opinion came to be described as hatred, intolerance, or worse.
Common sense was preceded in death by his parents, truth and trust; his wife, discretion; his daughter, responsibility; and his son, reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I'm entitled to it, it's someone else's fault and I'm a victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.