Deciphering the NFL Draft (and the stupid clichés that go with it)

CLEVELAND, OH (WOIO) - First up? The Browns at No. 1 overall, where you want a "can't miss" prospect. There is no such thing, of course.

There's no "franchise QB" in this draft. There never is when the Browns pick, so at No. 12 they'll want a "safe pick" -- that's just a guy we've heard of.

Mitch Trubisky has a "big arm," which means he's tall and can throw hard. It's also meaningless.

You don't want to "reach" -- that's taking a guy higher than everyone else had him in their mock draft. In the middle rounds, you go "best available," or a guy who's not as bad as whoever is still out there. In the later rounds, you want "value" picks. Those are also just guys that we've heard of.

Everyone loves a "sleeper" -- that's a guy we've never seen play, but we read about him once.

Why is it if a guy is an "athlete," he's probably black, which means he's "talented" or a "freak," but if he's "cerebral," or a "grinder," or has "football IQ" he's white? If he has "high football IQ," he's also white *and* speaks well to the media. But if a black guy *doesn't* talk to the media, he has an "attitude problem"?

One of the dumbest phrases is to say a guy is a "cover corner" -- aren't they all?

A guy who's "undisciplined" is a fast guy who gets beat a lot.

You'll hear a player is "good at the point of contact," which is kind of an important place to be good in the game of football.

If a guy has good "ball skills," he can catch.

A "possession receiver" is a slow white guy. A "Wes Welker-type" is a *quick* white guy who is also "deceptively fast."

At running back you want a "downhill runner." Are there any *uphill* runners? Same goes for "North-South runner" -- is there another kind?

A "change of pace back" is a guy not good enough to start. But hopefully he's "good in space," though we still haven't found a guy who is *bad* in space.

If someone's "raw," he's clueless. They'll have to teach him how to tie his shoes. And a "project" also has no idea what he's doing. Any "prospect" is *years* away from being a real player.

Anyone with "upside" hasn't done anything yet. Anyone with "high upside" will never do anything.

A guy with "intangibles" has no apparent skills.

A "tweener" plays more than 1 position and isn't good at any of them.

A "winner" was on good teams in college. It means nothing.

A "workout warrior" looks good in the uniform, but can't play.

A "run stuffer" is a fat guy on defense who can't move, and he probably isn't an "every down player" -- must be nice.

If all else fails, the Browns should "stay true to the board" -- after all, those rankings were made months ago. Why change them now?

Copyright 2017 WOIO. All rights reserved.