Hubby Help

Cleveland, OH - Here are some tips on ways to entice your honey to pull his weight:

APPEAL to his sense of fair play. If he cares about you, he should be motivated by such a principle. Many men are aware of the disparity in the division of household labour and feel guilty about it - but they don't want their wives to use that guilt against them.

SUGGEST that changing his behaviour will benefit him in some way. For example, if he does more, he'll get a happier wife in the process.

CASH IN on a favour. Marriage and family life are about give and take. Remind him of what you've done for him and explain that he owes you one.

SHOW HIM how much you are contributing to the family. Write a list of what you do. It will help you feel more confident and demand more of him. But don't communicate in a victimised, burdened way. Your tone should be affectionate but unmovable.

TELL HIM if you're unhappy with the current arrangement, tell him. Let him know, without whitewashing, how exhausted, resentful, or discouraged you are. Some women who grew up watching their mothers take on too much responsibility find this difficult.

CONSIDER eliminating some of the chores. Look closely at what is really essential to your wellbeing and which activities you do out of habit or to please others. You can't accuse your husband of laziness if your standards are so high that he can never meet them.